It is now December 22 and I'm not sure what it is, but I don't seem to be in any kind of holiday spirit so far this year. I didn't put up any decorations on the outside of the house. I just put up our Christmas tree last week on 12/15/13. I haven't created, addressed, or sent any Christmas cards this year to family or friends. I don't have my shopping completed. As a matter of fact, I have only purchased a few presents and only because I bought them online and had them delivered to the house.
So, what is the problem? As I stated above, I really don't know. I could blame it on quite a few things if I wanted to place the blame somewhere.
I could go back to pre-Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving and blame the things that occurred then (which actually could be part of the problem) but that's not the problem.
I could blame the fact that I am really not liking my job right now. That may not be completely accurate, let's say that I'm not liking some of the decisions that are being made. I still love when I get to teach.
How about the fact that Christmas has just snuck up on me, could I blame that? Well, I could but I don't think that is it either.
My husband works nights and we don't have time to shop together. Nope, not that either. He doesn't always shop with me anyway and we have been together on the weekends so it isn't that.
How about the schedule of my two boys? With both of them being in law enforcement their schedules can often cause us to have to be creative when we celebrate anything from birthdays, to anniversaries, to Thanksgiving, to Christmas. Even though the schedule isn't ideal, we will still be able to get together as a family on Christmas Eve. So, that isn't it either.
It wasn't until just this afternoon that I finally realized WHY I haven't been in the Christmas spirit. It isn't because of either of the issues from Thanksgiving, my job, time, schedule, or any other nonsensical thing I could find to blame. The problem all along has been ME! I have been focusing on the things in life that are important to ME; family, time, job, schedules, etc. The real reason I should be in the Christmas spirit has nothing whatsoever to do with ME but should be only about HIM. I took my eyes off of Jesus, the baby in the manger, and looked everywhere else but there.
So, where do I go from here? Back to where I need to be; focused on Jesus, following Him in all I do.
To all of my family and friends who have endured my un-Christian attitude and behaviors, please forgive me as that is not the attitude and behaviors I strive to live and project. I hope and pray that all of you who really know me will pray for me and help to hold me accountable for my actions. As a sinner I know I will struggle and fall at times. God didn't promise that life would be easy but He did promise to always be with us. His promises are true and good. HE is true and good.
Merry Christmas!
Amen to that Rekke, we all find ourselves there at time. Praise God you figured it out and are getting back on track. Our God is a patient God and I am very greatfl for that!
ReplyDeleteThat was really insightful. When I started reading this, I was amazed how closely I was identifying with your feelings. Our situations are a little different, but it comes back to the Christmas spirit is in Christ and too many other things have been in the way. Love and prayers along with thank you for opening my eyes.
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